Quitting marijuana
I've been struggling with substance abuse and addiction. I don't do hard drugs tho. I've smoked tobacco for about six years now, and I’m a heavy smoker—averaging around 30 cigarettes a day. There were periods when I drank night after night for weeks at a time. At least I haven’t done that in a while. I also drink at least two cups of coffee a day. It’s no wonder I have pretty bad anxiety. I spend a lot of time playing Wild Rift too. But despite all these issues, my main focus right now is dealing with my marijuana use.
I’ve been smoking marijuana on and off for about three years. The problem is that when I smoke, I tend to smoke for a straight week or two. Back in my country, weed was quite cheap and 10g is usually the minimum amount. Since moving to Thailand, I’ve been smoking almost daily, even though it’s more expensive here. It’s easy to get, and it’s been making my anxiety worse. I think I’ve been abusing drugs to avoid facing reality. I’m planning to see a therapist soon, but for now, I need to quit marijuana first.
I’ve tried quitting tobacco before. I managed to stop for about two weeks. I was in a Facebook group where I saw people who had been smoke-free for 7 months, 2 years, even 5 years. What I learned is that when you’re addicted to something, quitting isn’t just a decision you make—it’s something you have to live by every day. Especially for someone like me, with little self-control, smoking just once can pull me right back into my bad habits.
But I don’t want to make big promises I can’t keep. So, I’ve decided that I won’t smoke marijuana for at least six months. I still have one joint left for tonight, and after that, I won’t buy any more. I won’t smoke again for at least one year.
I’m going to add a checklist to my Martyn-in-progress page and tick it [x] tomorrow morning. If I fail in the future, I’ll uncheck it. So, that’s it for now. I’m going to smoke my last joint and go to sleep I guess.